Saturday, September 24, 2011

I think we all need to Learn a little from Albert Einstein's Quotes on Life


Follow Your Curiosity. "I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious."

Perseverance is Priceless. "It's not that I'm so smart; it's just that I stay with problems longer."

Focus on the Present. "Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."

The Imagination is Powerful. "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions. Imagination is more important than knowledge."

Make Mistakes. "A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new."

Live in the Moment. "I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."

Create Value. "Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value."

Don't Expect Different Results. "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Knowledge Comes From Experience. "Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience."

Learn the Rules and Then Play Better. "You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else."     

Monday, September 19, 2011

2011 NHL Dubious Awards


Disclaimer- These Awards can only be given to the players who Play a minimum of 30 games to a full 82 Take in Mind, some switch many teams in a season like Bochenski has in years past but that’s not always. Most of these are made for humor and recognizing not just the Mediocre Players of the NHL, but those who are somewhat mediocre and still have skill.
And Now, for the 2nd anual Awards, here's your host, them Internetz=



-The Duke Lion Fightin' Stance Award:

Given to the player who registers the most fighting majors for the season. Other criteria for consideration include blood drawn, blood spilled, heads cracked, hands broken, and estimated number of opponents who may have shit their pants. He Will Basically try to fuck your shit up even if you don’t wanna fight.
--2011 Recipient: George Parros, the Stache takes it this year by a somewhat close by two fights total more than Konopka. So by numbers he wins, Parros is a tall cup of glass and a whole more stache than anyone else save for maybe Gillies’ fu Manchu. Parros already has a reputation for being a mild mannered forward who is just trying to make a living aside from his high education, but when rustled he will go to town on you. Fists to face.
--Honourable Mention: Zenon Konopka not just for his 25 fights and fiery attitude and his words to Lemieux, but because he leads with his face and repeats more than a pizza at 2 am. Third is Boll, who leads with his fists when he’s not concussed. Shame, his concussions have limited his play because he’s actually a skilled guy who should showcase it more.


-The Peter Sidorkiewicz Trophy:
Awarded annually to the most mediocre goaltender forced into regular duty, although he has no business playing every day.
--2011 Recipient: Peter Budaj, this guy has been a flop since he was the back up for Aesbischer, and Theodore, and the avalanche refuse to give up on him, instead of finding better talent in the pipeline and or free agency, but no, they refuse to learn.
--Honourable Mention: Jose Theodore, and Marty Turco.


-The Darcy Tucker Award:
Given to a player that registers a career-high in goals during a contract year in an effort to secure a big payday.
--2011 Recipient: Matt Moulson, This guy has actually earned it though, went from nothing to something all thanks to the magic of John Tavares and his passing skills, it goes to show the level of the guy and what he’s reaching, think of Moulson as Crosby’s first guy he was feeding, Andy Hilbert.
--Honourable Mention: Brad Richards, the biggest douche bag that could possibly be, has made it apparent he will be hitting the open market and instead of letting his team get something in return by “trading” his negotiating rights, he refuses, this is why no trade clauses should never come into play.


-The Steve Downie Trophy:
Awarded annually to the player judged to be the biggest piece of shit by both players and fans.
--2011 Recipient: Matt Cooke, do I seriously have to explain this piece of shit and his antics? His suspension for the rest of the season and first round of the playoffs says enough. His pleas that he will change is the equivalent of a wife beater telling his girl he has changed and two weeks later he is beating her ass too. Shameful. Tied with Him is Alex Burrows, do i really need to explain this guy? or shall we chew on something first to think it over?
--Honourable Mention: Trevor Gillies, I’m kind of a fan of his, he cracks me up with his fu Manchu and semi mediocre play, but its his cheap shit shots that he’s suddenly been doing not just to the penguins but other players that kind of make him an embarrassment to the game, is he a good fighter? Yes he is. Did I frown on his hit on Cal Clutterbuck? No, that was poetic Justice.


-The Harold Ballard Award:
Given to the executive that caused the most irreparable damage to his team by shortsighted transactions.
--2011 Recipient: The Teachers Pension that owns the Leafs, Since they took over years ago they did do a few things to get the franchise back to the playoffs but after the lockout they’ve done nothing but drive the franchise back into the hole the leafs struggled to get out of since the Awards naming forefather. So far the team will be under new ownership, coming soon since they announced they’ll be selling their share but until its done and a real one person owner takes over, it would be great to see the entire team build up and be prominent and not just “fans in suits on the lower seats” as we’ve seen in the few years
--Honourable Mention: The city of Glendale, I know, I know, they’re actually not the owners of the NHL, but their pending approval for any type of deal for a new owner is actually hindering the teams ability to build a reputable relationship with the fans again after a hindering lockout when the team was actually a seller and could fill at least more than half a section from the looks of it now a days. The fact that I actually remember seeing a more than half filled arena on a Thursday night game tells enough. Hurry the fuck up! If you cant help fix the problem then you’re also part of the problem.


-The Kevin Lowe Award
Awarded to the GM who best Exemplifies the ability to "throw a grenade at 30 other teams by doing something stupid with a contract or a trade"
--2011 Recipient: A Tie, between, Whoever the hell was the GM of the Panthers, and Don Waddell, neither can take their teams into the playoffs ever again, neither can take the talent in those teams and guide them to the next level, instead they just buried them, and in case of the ATL, they’re now the Winnipeg “Jets”.
--Honourable Mention: The Lisp, he has turned the Senators from a powerhouse he inherited from Mucks, to. …This.


-The Tom McVie Award:
Awarded annually to the coach that displays the most dysfunctional on-ice product.
--2011 Recipient: Tie Between Scott Gordon, and Cory Clouston, and whichever Sutter is now coaching the flames, how worse can you get when you have, young up and coming speedy skilled super talented players, and in other cases, such as Jarome Iginla and a few others and NOTHING. What a joke, thank god two of the three have been fired, I feel bad for flames fans until he goes too.
--Honourable Mention: Alain Vigneault and Bruce Boudreau, take two highly skilled, talented teams and what do you get? Top rankings in the conference, lots of goals scored. Throw them in the playoffs and you have two choke artists one with a coach who looks almost as bad as Claude Julien’s ugly ass face, beet red screaming fbombs and asking why some random shit happened. And the other one, a team that makes it to the finals after 16 years only to take a lead and drop it and have their city destroyed for the third and hopefully final time in the finals, a joke.


-The Todd Bertuzzi Trophy:
The Todd Bertuzzi trophy is given to a player that works the hardest to reinforce every ‘violence in hockey’ stereotype known. Usually awarded to the player with the most attempt to injure, attempted murders, and sucker punches. (Previous winners include Scott Walker, Todd Bertuzzi, and Marty McSorely.)
--2011 Recipient: Matt Cooke, again, for the second year in a row, he should get a new speech going, I think his “I have to change” speech was enough.
--Honourable Mention: Trevor Gillies for his stuff against the Penguins but Mike Haley can fill this one too.


-The Chris Chelios Award:
Pretty self explanatory, but given to the NHL’s oldest player. (There should be no surprise here, once again.)
--2011 Recipient: Dr. Mark Recchi, Rex not only has stuck around until he won the cup and decided to retire right there with the cup in his hands, but he also graduated as a doctor of Medicine as he was able to pin point the issues the Montreal doctors could not figure out with MaxPac’s neck and other injuries. What more can you ask for?
--Honorable Mentions: Nik Lidstrom, who has decided that coming back another year is certainly what he should do, I’m actually sick and tired of seeing him on the wings blueline, go away.


-The Mike Ricci Trophy:
Given to a player with the best mop on his head.
--2011 Recipient: Kris Letang, did you see his mop? This guy not only has flow, but he’s got Chris Simon 90s related Flow, damn near the most impressive. Ryan Jones Ties this guy though, because he's taller so he fights more gravity with those beautiful locks, straight hair for Letang= no knots. Curly baby locks for Jones=tangles with some great bounce. You have to appreciate that.
--Honourable Mention: George Parros, great flow, fantastic volume and color, no grays and he donates his hair to the cancer foundations to make wigs, how much more can you love this guy? What a guy! Another honourable mention is the All Hair Team of the Minnesota High School Hockey Tourney, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9NW6KB9C8Y
If you haven’t seen this then you know nothing about hockey hair.


-The 'Tart' Ross Trophy:
Given to the Player who plays a minimum of 30 games and his dubious scoring antics. Previous recipients include Matthew Spiller, Half the Coyotes team for since 2003.
--2011 Recipient: Kyle Chipchura, once believed to be a top power forward that the Canadiens wasted a complete first round draft pick instead of other players they could have drafted, and now can barely hold a spot in Anaheim, he’s a UFA I hear and from the looks of it, he will not be coming back. 40gp 0g 2a
--Honourable Mention: Vladimir Zharkov, just because of how awesome his name is. 38gp 2g 2a


-The Slack Adams Award:
Given to the coach who is basically a cancer to his team and bench.
--2011 Recipient: Brent Sutter, Yes I am aware his team isn’t the worst in the standings, but the guy can’t handle his own locker room, for a guide he can’t be the right solution for the problem they have, shame.
--Honourable Mention: Cory Clouston, nuff said as per before.


-The NOrris Trophy:
Given to the defenseman who is not just mediocre, but sucks plain out, and I don’t mean "Mike Green at Defense" Sucks, I mean he can’t hit the net or block a shot-sucks.
--2011 Recipient: Matt Smaby Takes this again for the second year in a row, 32gp 0g 0a 0p +/- of 2 Ironically this is a step back from last years stats for the poor guy.
--Honourable Mention: Brian Lee of the Ottawa Senators, supposed to be part of their future Defensive body and after 50 games barely squeaked past Smaby with 3 assists.


-The Lesswegetlessweseelessisbetterofyou Patrick Trophy:
Given to the person in hockey with the least outstanding service to the game, meaning you're basically in the news and its nothing positive because you’re an asshole or selfish prick.
--2011 Recipient: Colin Campbell, the leagues disciplinarian should have stepped down like the NHL has that “Secret Rule” when an official’s son is playing for a team they cannot have anything to do with their son’s team in discipline or calling scores. Granted nobody gave a shit about Florida so it didn’t matter but as a father and disciplinarian for the NHL he should have quit when Greg got in. Loved the Black and yellow tie he wore at the NHL awards, so obvious. Who’s the guy who called the discipline for the Bruins? Campbell’s right hand man, and best friend. There were many suspensions the bruins and Canucks should have gotten or the Bruins in any of their cup run or season, so it’s kind of a bullshit raw deal other teams got. No I’m aware I’m a Montreal fan but I’m talking other instances. The last suspension we saw worthy by the Bruins was that cheap shot Paille threw.
--Honourable Mention: Glen Sather, I’ve never seen a GM just sign and sign and sign and overpay players again and again to such extent that the team ends up losing out on possible futures, lately the rangers have been rebuilding from indoors but their signings are really hampering them no matter what.


-Too Much Plus/Minus Award:
Given to the player with the worst +/- possible:
--2011 Recipient: Normally this should go Straight to Chris Phillips for his -35 but that’s too easy with such a mediocre Senators team this season reminiscent of the early years. But the guy that really REALLY DESERVES THIS IS…Ilya Kovalchuk. That’s right I said it! The Top paid player with his retarded ass long contract, here’s the guy whose supposed to be one of the most impact players in the NHL Sure did prove his contract was worth it and the loss of draft picks with such amazing stats as 81gp 31g(he gets paid top dollars for this one to be higher) 29a -26
--Honourable Mention I would love to give this to Ed Jovanovski but he wasn’t low enough on the list, so I’m going to go to my favorite Mexican, top Mexi player. Favorite player since I heard his name. You know how it is. Scott Gomez, Do you have any idea how much he earns a year for 4 more years? 7 Million, yeah, you read it right; you can thank fucking Glen Sather. His stats? 80gp 7g 31a 28pts -15, you saw it right, that’s a million dollars a goal! I’m ok knowing that he’s a playmaker meaning he should reach 18-27 goals maybe but get at least 50-60 assists a la Marc Savard or his 05-06 season feeding Gionta and Elias for 51 assists and potting 33 goals. Or shit, 16 goals and 54 points on his second to last year with the Rangers, This past season he went 33 games without a goal a huge bounce back year is really needed by him, or even I will disown him as a Mexican.


-The Silver Bullet Award:
Given to the player with the worst goal output possible for someone who once had so much potential, kind of like Nic Antroslob used to for the leafs for almost ten years before starting to actually play two years ago. Excluded from being listed are players whose seasons ended from injury.
--2011 Recipient: Last year we gave this to D’Agostini and his stats improved he potted 21 goals and 46 points, But this year its going to be a tie for Both Radim “the vibrtr” Vrbata and Lee “Stumpy” Stempniak. Top contracts, entry level contract goal output, certainly not something Phoenix needs to waste so much cash on them for, not only is a huge bounce back needed by them, especially like Vrbata's season before leaving to Europe getting so many goals he needs to pick it up, Stempniak played more games and got 10 less points same amount of goals (19) They need to step up so phoenix doesn’t sink lower than they need to be.
--Honourable Mention: Antoine Vermette, probably one of my favorite players in the senators at one point, I stopped paying attention to him since I hate Columbus so much, so much, that I stopped giving a shit about the poor guy. He’s fast, very good at faceoffs and smooth with the puck, good checker, and great hands with the puck and sweet passing, but this year he obviously didn’t showcase that this year with 81gp 19g 28a but he did break even on the +/- at 0. Also see Matt Stajan.


-The Credit Union Award:
To the NHL player not voted fan favorite for his irrelevance to the league and team itself:
--2011 Recipient: By two votes, Colin Fraser wins; this is the guy the oilers “gave up” to bring Ryan Smyth home. 67gp 3g 2a 5pts extremely mediocre for a third line centre. Brett Lebda also takes a notion in this just because of how terrible he is, and to quote Doug’s gramps, “he is about as useless as a fishing pole in a desert”
--Honourable Mention: Jon Ericcson, Ed Jovanovski and Mike Modano have tied for this one, top flight players in the last few decades and this year they just like the last few years have decided to sign big contracts or leave the teams of success and have stumbled all around the ice. It’s kind of sad Modanos homecoming to Detroit was bad, he should have quit as a star or signed with the wild. Jovanovski, well he’s just plain bad, thank the lord his contract is up. As for Jon, think turnover hero for every other team, the less effective replacement for Lilja, and that says something.


-The Steve McKenna Award:
Given to the worst captain in the League currently. Has to wear the C on his chest a minimum of 30 games barred from Injury, his support in play and lack of anything counts.
--2011 Recipient: Shawn Horcoff, for the guy who’s the captain and trusted player to lead the rebuilding young oilers into futures, but he decided to…not. 47gp 9g 18a -1. Up next tied to him is of Course Chris Drury, sad to say but the super talented guy has become a shell of his former self and is poised to now be bought out. SO MUCH, for glory.
--Honourable Mention: Mike Richards, once the core center of the Flyers. Went from being the future core front and leader of the Flyers for the next 10 years to being sold off after a few years, especially all of his locker room antics that have basically made him expendable to sign a overrated goalie for such a long fucked up contract. Dece numbers 81gp 23g 43a +/-11, but not too great character. At least he won’t have to see Subban often this year.


The Tyson Nash for Captain Award:
Given to the player who wore the "A" for his team as assistant captain for at least 30 games barring injury, has to suck and for some reason stupid nasty ugly pucksluts think he'd make a better leader than the current leader on a mediocre team.
--2011 Recipient: Ed Jovanovski, the fact that he had the C put on his chest while Doan was injured/suspended this past season goes to show just because you get paid big bucks doesn’t mean you’re top captain material or even a scorer. Terribly mediocre, and very overpaid.
--Honourable Mention: Craig Rivet, this guy has no business even wearing a C, he would have won the award, that Shawn Horcoff took home tonight, but this guy is a top six pairing dman, but I’m talking second or third line pairing. Gets embarrassed often, he just isn’t the defenseman he once was in Montreal, you know, the guy who constantly fought and got bloodied up by smaller guys, and only got around by playing clutch and grab and hit and throw yourself in front of the puck, think a less mobile Rhett Warrener. Think a smaller and actually slower Hal gill, yep I went there. The best thing buffaslug did was trade him. I wont post his stats because of how bad he was,


-The Holyfield Award
Given to the player who best exemplifies the "GOD DAMN" Effect on everyone, with a one-punch knockout of a bitch player. Previous recipients include that fatbastard Boogaard for his punch on the small Fedoruk, and Colton Orr for his punch on Fedoruk, Tahir Domi for his Punch on Ulf Faguelsson, and Keith Primeau for his punch on that horrible player named Jovanovski. If I was alive 60 years ago, Maurice Richard for his punch on that retard from the rangers who recently was played by Sean Avery in the movie, which was great to see Avery knocked out twice. And Matt Walker for knocking the fuck out of Jovanovski that had me saying "YES I HOPE IT ENDED HIS CAREER LIKE BEUKEBOOM" but it didn’t
--2011 Recipient: Derek Engelland, this guy busted Colton Orr’s face almost as awesomely as Orr did to fedoruk. Orr dominated the start of the fight but Derek hung in there until he got his footing in and finally was able to throw in a good haymaker and just destroyed him. Tied with him is Johnson vs. DP, not only did Johnson knock out DP who was laughing and being a moron in a fight being cocky and not taking the fight seriously but had to learn by having a concussion and his cheek broken and had to wear an Osgood mask but hey he looked better in it.
--Honourable Mention: John Scott, laying down the bloody law on Kevin Westgarth, give it to Kevin he hung in there while donating blood to his jersey, glass, ice, and John’s hands. That is only a testament that he’s more than willing to be in the fight but not that he’s able to do something in that fight. Fourth place is going to MacIntyre and Ivanans, a fight that started out slowly and developed to kind of boring scrapping, but MacAttack decided enough was enough and ended up Raitis’ season...possibly his career.

The Things We Do, and the People We Know

Home Truths

10 Truths Black And Hispanic People Know, But White People Won’t Admit:

1. Elvis is dead.

2. Jesus was not White, who are you kidding? He didn't look like Charleston Heston, He had "skin of bronze and hair like Sheep's wool", if that ain't black that this isn't my real name.

3. Rap music is here to stay, unfortunately its now really shitty rap music.

4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean, unless you just gave them a bath.

5. Skinny does not equal sexy, i've had better "meetings" with women who have a few pounds more on them than a girl whos ribs i can feel instead of boobs, you can too, eat up baby, nobody's paying you any service.

6. Thomas Jefferson had black children. Not kidding, look it up, he seriously did.

7. A 5 year child is too big for a stroller. Thats why it bows awkwardly, thats why our children start fatting up so young.

8. N’ SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5, Whooooa oh ooh hoo oh

9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line. Kept me out of jail.

10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal. If i'd have tried that my dads hand would have been tattooed on the lower lip forever.

10 Truths White And Black People Know, But Hispanic People Won’t Admit:

1. Hickey’s are not attractive. Ok hose bag from Iqor?

2. Chicken is food, not a roommate. Guilty but i have my brother to blame.

3. Jesus is not a name for your son. Ahem!

4. Your country’s flag is not a car decoration. (puerto rico's my country puerto ricos my country, no its not dummy its US territory)

5. Maria is a name but not for every other daughter. Its like the Christina for whites.

6. “Jump out and run” is not in any insurance policies. Unless someone is carrying something stupid.

7. 10 people to a car is considered too many! Unless its a big van. No, your lap isnt a seat unless you got a girl with you, but 9 out of 10 that she is family, gross dude.

8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement. I dont care how hard you look ese, you still look retarded.

9. Mami and Papi can’t possibly be the nickname of every person in your family, that goes to all the puerto ricans too, fucking creepy dude, nothings more attractive than the girl i dated years ago mid a moment of "passion'' and she says "ai papi" clothes on, goodbye.

10.Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal. But hilarious.

10 Truths White And Hispanic People Know, But Black People Won’t Admit:

1. O. J. did it. But this one is actually white people, because everyone else hates O.J. thats why white people took him officially in the racial dispersal draft.

2. Tupac is dead. Dead as fuck.

3. Teeth should not be decorated. Because you can only look so tacky.

4. Weddings should start on time. This is everyone though, especially mexicans.

5. Your pastor doesn’t know everything. Jesse's a fucking moron.

6. Jesse Jackson will never be President. Yes, i went there, fuck that guy.

7. RED is not a kool-aid flavor, it’s a color. So is purple drank.

8. Church does not require expensive clothes. But church means you should be respectful and dress right. Shirt and tie and a coat, unlike "others" who go in shorts and sandals, thats fucked up and not respectful.

9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away. Not for stashing yo shit.

10.Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car, Black ghetto bastard, still waitin on that check from the government, hustlin a little rock to pay some child support, and has 4 rimz on his whip that he has on a payment plan for 25 dollars a week, cause imma playaaa

How To Decipher Police Terms

Its Under investigation = His Friends Are Looking into It!

He’s On Administrative Leave = Vacation!

He’s On Paid Leave = Paid Vacation!

He’s On Un-Paid Leave = He’s Paying for His Vacation!

He’s Been Reassigned = Promoted!

Demoted = He’s Back on the Streets Where He Can Really Do Damage!

He’s Being Re-trained = A Week at a Porn Convention!

Charges are Pending = Looking for Someone Else to Blame!

The Chief of Police is Looking Into it = He’s Making Sure He Cant Be Blamed!

The NHL Disciplinarians are a JOKE!!!

This was Posted in May 27th, 2011


The NHL's Disciplinarians are a fucking joke. Yep i said it, not just as a Montreal fan but here's some good ones, more to come.

I took part of the quotes from someone elses article, but a lot more will be added by me in the next 24 hours, not just mocking the bruins but other teams, ps fuck the bruins.

Quotes by Campbell on suspending players who try to injure other people.

“And so I think he has to be responsible in how he takes a [Brian] Campbell in, and what kind of position the other player’s in. And he had moved the puck already, Campbell. Look, if there’s no injury on the play, we probably, we don’t do anything, but that’s part of the supplemental discipline process. If you cause a player to be injured, then you have to be responsible for the play that you’re involved in, if there’s any carelessness or recklessness in it.”

Now replace Brian Campbell’s name for Max Pacioretty’s in the above statement, and you’re left wondering why Campbell’s office didn’t suspend Zdeno Chara. You can argue that it was a hockey play, and that it happens all the time. You can show me the clip of Hal Gill introducing Jon Sim in to the stanchion (though the two plays are totally different). But when you look at the above bolded text, Colin Campbell makes it crystal clear that regardless of your intentions, hockey play or not, if you hurt somebody badly enough (and we’re not talking about a run-of-the-mill bump or bruise here), you will be suspended. I wonder if anybody asked Colin Campbell why or how his statements from March 2010 no longer applied in March of 2011? Especially given the seriousness of the injury (please, no Dr. Recchi comments!)

The second incident is an even more perplexing example. Two years ago, New York Rangers Head Coach John Tortorella was suspended for one playoff game for hosing down a fan with the contents of a water bottle. For his part, here’s what Campbell had to say about Coach Torts’ suspension:

“While it is a difficult decision to suspend a coach at this point in a playoff series, it has been made clear to all of our players, coaches and other bench personnel that the National Hockey League cannot — and will not — tolerate any physical contact with fans. We do not take this action lightly.”

“That investigation revealed that Mr. Tortorella squirted a fan with water before Mr. Tortorella was doused with a beverage. While, in these circumstances, it always is easy to allege mitigating circumstances, the fact is we do not tolerate contact with our fans in this manner”

Fast forward to May 25, 2011 and Boston Bruins faggot, errr forward Nathan Horton was caught doing the exact same thing – spraying a fan with water from a bottle, not actually something incited by chanting like Torts was but just leaving the ice, grabs a bottle and lets it rip into an older mans face. Given Campbell’s strongly worded and straight forward statement, you’d think that an automatic suspension would follow suit for Horton, right? After all, he did mention – twice in the same statement – that the league will not tolerate these types of interactions with fans.

Ryder leaving his feet a full fucking jump at least a foot or more off the ice to hit the Lightning's Jones' who goes down and did we even see him play right if at all the rest of the series? a Serious headhunting head shot, i love the fact that if you look at the replay Bruins fans are defending him saying shit like "he lead with his shoulder and the hit knocked him off his feet" Really?

What in the motherfuck!

What the fuck has happened lately?

Is the league really pushing the "will not" and "cannot" rule? Or is it because his faggot cheap shot diver of a son is on that team? Yes Yes, I get it you're all going to tell me someone else deals with the Bruins discipline, but do they really?

The league will suspend those who cause injury. I mean, it only took them 7 tries before they realized "oh shit, Matt Cooke is trying to hurt people on purpose, shut the fuck up Mario we know"

I’m not a conspiracy theory guy, but when then Islanders defenseman James Wisniewski is suspended for a a hilarious gesture about Sean Avery knobbin someone's Knob.

Yet Andrew Ference has an equipment malfunction flips the bird to 21,000 people after scoring a goal without a corresponding penalty except seeing Cam Neely's fat ass laughing, and do we really need to see that son of a bitch over and over and over all the fucking time on live tv? Your career is over with, fuck off! I'm starting to think Ulf is suddenly awesome.

Fuck the Bear.

Drink Starbucks! A Guide (or not) of how you can go from Being the Uncool, to the bloated ego of "Cool"

Yeah i said it, how many of you have been to Stabucks? (pretend stares)

Come on don't be shy, this isn't going to be yet another one of my "COFFEE FLAVORED COFFEE" Leary induced rant. Or another one of those "man why the fuck would i pay 5.60 for a 4 ounce half cup of coffe with a gripload of whipped cream and it tastes like crap?"

So....How many of you have been? Can you tell me the last time you enjoyed paying so much for coffee? have you cut down on it? How many of you can live without it? I know i seldom and rarely ever not hear someone say "oh heck no i need my starbucks i can't live without it!"

Now take into consideration, this isn't going to be your typical "blog" i write, this is more of a rant and annoyed speech by me about coffee and starbucks. Why starbucks? After further conversation, it was a necessary evil rant.

Did you know QT's gasoline is pretty good? and did you know their Coffee is just as good a drink as the one you're giving your car? Did you know that Dunkies (dunkin donuts for those of you not schooled in certain things) Has probably the best black cup of coffee you'll have? or better yet other types of frapp/al/cap a chinos ever. yes i'm aware i said Chino and not ccino. (Nods to my mexis)

You know, growing up in the 90s i only ever saw Coffee Shops and Coffee Houses through TV. Not in person i grew up poor, what kid wants to buy coffee anyway when the green ranger has just been turned away from evil and the dragonzord is whuppin Rita's latest monster concoctions' asses?

So all in all what notion i got is what everyone got from the 90s, of coffee places, people reading/writting poetry, Berets, ugh really a fucking beret, thank you monica lewinski for ruining what special opps officers wore on a day off. Stupid Ankle warmer!

But i'm getting away from it, Central Perk, you remember that name right? F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

yeah i'll be there for you too. The way the sat around talked, and how snobby and high on their arches everyone around them were for buying coffee from there?

Its like a Trendsetter as Starbucks, the next evil according to everyone whos a purist about coffee, yeah in hockey we have "purists" you know, those guys who say "no no keep the game the same, dont eliminate the trap its part of hockey" Same ones who said about adding it. Starbucks now a days is considered the big evil, why do you ask? WHY WOULD I SAY SWEET TENDER STARBUCKS IS EVIL?

1... Last Year not 2010 i'm talking seasonal, 2009 christmas time, the whole "buy a starbucks drink now and we will donate 10 cents of your purchase to Haiti, or whatever country is apparently in need all the time" Really? 10 Cents from a $4 drink? WOW that'll really change the world. I remember signing up for a group boycotting Starbucks that winter and just going and donating the money you would have spent for a drink there to the charity of choice, i was broke back then and jobless and i can guarantee you i made lots of money that winter from my gloves and money went to charity.

2. The employees, Is starbucks really that amazing to work for? Sure you go in and you have some saying hello and all that awesome stuff with smiles. Yeah starbucks is only good to work for if you're a trendy little snobby fuck who thinks you do the world a chance by buyin from there, gone are the days of wearing berets and sipping lattes, now you have to wear skinny jeans and work at starbucks to be the "cool". I have never met a person in starbucks or seen one that isnt just a person buying coffee and instead sounding like a snotty asshole. Buying starbucks for your kids because you love it? What kind of asshole are you? You do realize coffee is bad for kids under 17 right?

But lets get back to the Employees, having the experience first hand of seeing how working at a coffehouse/restaurant and how the employees can have such a shit time. And seeing prior to that job how Starbucks management can treat their employers? It makes me sad, but hey happens at every place. Why is starbucks evil if every place is utter shit to the employees? Would you make your friend manager and let him ruin and abuse fellow employees for his fun and mettle with their private lives so you can make them suffer at work? Thats a bit excessive. Is it a bit excessive?

You let me know if it is, i know some drama queens like my brother and a few others are excessive like this but christ i'd hate working for them, i'd either jump off the building or throw them off. use them as a landing mat.

3. The Coffee, you didn't think i would make an article/blog about a coffee company without talking coffee right?

Right!

I had a few friends who worked for Starbucks, and i can't say everytime they gave me a free coffee that i enjoyed it, Probably the Caramel frapp or the Vanilla bean Caramel slushy, yeah i called it slushy cause it is! How is their plain black coffee? at 3.75 for a "small" I think the 99 cent cup from Dunkies is not just perfect but add some sugar and maybe a little cream to taste, and holy goodness, I kid you not, try it out, theres a dunkies in tempe, theres one in north phoenix off the 101, and one over by the hospital off the 101 and Thomas road, YUM! Sadly Starbucks coffee never did that for me

Back when i actually hardly ever ever went to a starbucks unless friends dragged me you know what i bought? You know? a freaking vanilla milk. How sad.

Remember in 2009 when coffee was 4.75 and wasn't a gallon? And Gasoline was? Retarded. Right? How many of you were moronic enough to go and get coffee that summer? Word has it this summer will reach those highs again, i look forward to seeing all the statuses bitching about how expensive gas is but you need starbucks that day.

I dated and now i'm marrying the girl who when i met her she wanted starbucks all the time, i think we made more stops at starbucks than....i dont know because we went everywhere too. And now? she'll buy it and half a cup later gets bored with it. She went from being the ultimate Starbucks fangirl to "hey a starbucks? in this place? why?"

I have a QT accross the street that tastes better to me and other people i know than starbucks, especially with the shit atttitudes of the employees who get treated like shit but tell everyone how much they love their job. Sorry you can't lie to me i know you and dont know you either.

Which Brings me to this last one.

4. The attitude it takes to be a starbucks employee to last there and to be a starbucks regular here in arizona from the experience i've had and seen. You have to have a shit one, why yes of course you have to be friendly, you have to smile and pretend you're happy to see the person coming in whos about to be the pickiest asshole and take up your time trying to choose coffee.

A. Skinny jeans? Check, gotta replace them with black slacks or dickies if youre on the employee side of the counter.

B. Bad attitude, you have to be snobby to be a true Starbucks employee, the ability to screw your employees over but everytime someone talks to you about a product you have to have a "god i should be somewhere else on this counter than to do you a favor and answer about our new "amaaaaazing" coffee" Or if you're the buyer you have to have the same attitude but returning it to the employee giving you the same shit. Match made in heaven sometimes. I know some Starbucks employees aren't all like that but you know a lot that are.

C. You have to learn all the Moves, and have to sound cool doing it, the way you waltz in and the way you order, nobody likes the guy who shows up and doesn't know what he's doing when ordering.

I'll end it prematurely so i dont stay up too late, but with these words.

Did you know in life we humans are known for taking shit from everyone and being screwed over? You can be cheated on, punched, have money stolen. But can willingly speak to some jackass behind a counter and make your order but if they as so far as make your coffee order wrong by not putting enough of that Cappuccino shot you spit it out "PFFFFT BARISTA!!!!! DOES THIS TASTE LIKE A DOUBLE CAPPUCCINO LATTE WITH SOY MILK GRANDE EXTRA WHIPPED AND A TOUCH OF CARAMEL TO YOU?"

Nobody gives a shit If it does most of the time and its your fault, next time just order coffee. and Fuck Croissants.

How to properly order yourself a Hot Female Drink

Now as far as A Starbucks of women then i'd sign up, i upgraded a few times and now i'm at the best order i ever got to take. I was giggly at the line with my turn, i originally went to the school coffee place and got a medium height, insecure, dark, bird nest for hat, extra jealous, whore. So my second chance well, it had to be great.

aaaaah omg omgomg ok ok ok.....ummm OH GOD SO MANY CHOICES!!!

Ummmm, i'll take a Smart Brunnete semi blonde, blue eyes.....extra tall (hey fuck you! i know i should have picked before hand but oh well), Nice butt, oh yeah that one make it extra firm! Give me some D's on her too! Sure i'll take C's if i have to! Don't mind that either. UMMMM AAAHHHH....oh! Italian! (pow) Medium Milkyness....oh throw some carnation milk in it! Make her lean, throw some blue eyes in there, OH OOH OH OH GLASSES!!!! (schwing!) No jealousy please! and uhhhh let me add the rest for taste. Thank you!!!

This is if russians or french women are not applicable.

And that folks is how you do it when you go to a coffee house, and not be a dick.